IBIZA 2K1
Saturday 21 July - Sunday 5th August 2001
Es Calo Playa, San Antonio
DIARY
Sunday
Went for a wander down to the beach then booked out sunset cruise / champaign diving trip. Had some food at Savannas. Later that night we went for a walk down to Cafe Mambo's and saw some fire juglers, then ventured into the Westend, after some Vodka, Peach and Apple Shcnapes we ended up in Gorms Garage and finaly that top class club - Nightlife. Had one of the best kebabs in the world. Lowey managed to spew it all back up again later while Phil was off shagging some ginger bird from Mansfield. Gaz and Rob (With his bright orange jeans) were dancing like nutters. Gaz came out with his famous "Lover Dance" to that PVD vs JPS.
Monday
Woke up about 2 pm after beeing plastered the night before. Went to KFC and had a chicken burger :) Yum! Did some sunbathing and tallent spotting on the beach before going back to out apartment where Gaz cooked some pasta and meatballs for everyone. Went on the Clubbers Guide pub crawl. was a bit naff. Gaz, asked some random bird he started chatting to if she "spit or Swallowed" Don't think she was too impressed. so went and got hammered on Vodka and Peach Schnaps. Had another KFC and ended up in NightLife yet again.
Tuesday
Went to the hotels pool. Phil stayed in bed all day. Wen't on the champaign dive / sunset cruise. Gaz only got 1 bottle off the bottom, not many got thrown in or he would have had them all. Had some rammy spanish snap and watched the sunset. Gaz got plastered on a mixture of sangria, champaign, sanmiguel and some rammy spanish wine. All I remember after that is going to Mambos, Gorms garage and Amsterdam bar. Phil and Timo had a KFC, Gaz and Rich had another big fat Kebab. Must have passed out then :)
Wednesday
Went on the beach again. Had a KFC again........Timo and Lowey argued about nerarly everything, but mostly towels. Went to a foam party at Eden. We all nearly suffocated under the foam! It was mental.
Thursday
Sunbathed on some rocks. Finally found an english pub that served bitter so Gaz and Rich were in heaven with a few pints of Worthingtons. Had a Burger King instead of a KFC today, just for a change. Went to our first big club Cream at Amnesia. Music was a bit crap. Too chilled out for Gaz and Rich, Timo and Phil seemed to enjoy it though. Timo and Lowey didn't end up arguing today due to the fact that they didn't understand a word each other said. Timo said ei gringo to a sweaty Spaniard who apparently replied TWAT. We all sent some text messages to Chris in Spnaish - No replies the ignorant bastard.
Friday
Went down to the beach again, had some food at some cafe on the front. Had a Wortho's. Came back to room for a quick shower before going to the beer-off, suprisingly enough for some beer. That Nobsack Lowey declined the oppertunity for a bag for his bottles, managed to drop one and whilst attempting to save it dropped another leaving a nasty gash in his left leg. We went into the westend. Saw the ginger bird phil was shagging and her miserable mates. Gaz and Lowey ednded up loosing Timo when they went for a Kebab coz Timmo was trying to get a chicken burger however KFC had apparently ran out of chicken ! Gaz and Rich ended up in some random club before staggering back to the hotel to find Timo spering in the toilet.
Saturday
Went to the Mansfield girls pool. Rich ended up with sunstroke. Wen't out the earliest we had all holiday at about 11pm. Paid to get into Es-Paradise for the water party, but the girls were boring and went early, Rich wasn't very well and Timo couldn't be arsed so we didn't even get to see the water. Everyone was nackered from beeing woke up and dragged out of bed early by Phils ginger slapper. All the food shops were closed when we came out except some dodgey chicken place that Timo loved coz they put cheese on his chips. Everyone decided we wern't going out with the girls from Mansfield again, they were so boring. Saw some nice topless dancers so the night wasn't a total loss.
Sunday
Went round our own tiny pool. Timo was smashed, then we went to Eden for Judgement Sunday, which was way too busy. Beer was way too expensive and there was no room to dance, eneded up spending most the night in some crappy chill out room with the Mansfiled girls who Phil happend to find in there.
Monday
Went on the beach. The showers in our rooms were fucked - no water at all :( Went to the biggest night club in the world - Privilege for Manumission. Bit of a piss take really, way too busy, too hot, no atmosphere cos it's way too big and the beer was too expensive and warm. No live sex this year either :( Just some crappy drama students prancing about at the front. Came back quite early and ripped the piss out of Chris and his Pollo story.
Tuesday
Went to the beach for a couple of hours and then went for a Chinese after one of Gaz's half hour long shortcuts. Slagged off Bondhay for a bit then went for a couple of beers. Loweys crazy stunt for today was to leave his wallet in a bar. Went to Mambos and planned Timos mission, weather he will go through with it is doubtful to say the least. He is set to shout "Look at me, Look at me!" then run around like a headless pollo tripping over and dooing cmmando rolls etc. Wen't to the best night ever - Gods Kitchen at Amnesia. Danced like bastards - sweaty bastards that is !
Wednesday
Went to the beach across the bay on a ferry. Went and had dinner at a cafe on the front.
Came back to the hotel and Rich and Gaz had crewcuts. Timo unsuprisingly bottled it like a Polo. No water again....which was a bit of a worry seeing as Gaz and Rich were coverd in hair, and Timo had oiled himself up a treat. The cleaners failed to notice we had no toilet paper - mind you they were Phillipenos. Had a night out round West End, Timo bladdered to fuck. Phil went for a shag with the ginger bird again. Gaz and Rich walked 2 Sheffield lasses back to their hotel coz they were lost and were about 3 miles away ! Timo had ended up buying about 6 roses for his bird - none of which survived. and he spewesd again. Earlier that night he spat out a huge mouthfuk of WKD into the street just while we were walking along for no aparent reason.
Thursday
With less than 3 hours sleep Lowey was up and showered before 9am, a record! Not just for the holiday but for himself! Lowey was forced into dooing an Arab, the lack of toilet paper meant he was forced into a difficult situation and when needs must even the most disgusting adventures have to take place. The water was off again. Burger King was the venue for todays delectible meal. Went into the Westend and Gaz spotted the two Sheffeild girld him and Rich walked home the previous night. Lowey stormed out Nightlife after Gaz asked him if he was OK, with a reply of "I have only had three fucking hours sleep all week" Gaz and Timo reckon he went cos he was scared of one of the Sheffield lasses he could have pulled if he tried. The girls ended up coming back to out hotel with Gaz and Timo only to find Phil and Lowey asellep. Gaz ended up walking them both home again, but did end up staying the night :)
Friday
Went out got pissed :)
Saturday
Lesft room at 11:30 played pool all day, had a chinese. Caught bus to airpot at 2am. Waited round at airport till 5am eventually got back to England at about 9am Sunday morning. One hell of a long boring day.
Sunday
Timo was pleased to see his bird at the airport. Gaz's dad went to the wrong terminal and took ages to find us, then he even got lost on the way home. Gaz went to sleep, was suprised to get a phone call off the last person he had expected to ring him - his X bird Kirsty who had broke her leg.
Sayings:
Do you spit or swallow?
Lowey - we havin a sit down lads?
Gaz, what's this tune?!
Ayai Napa, Ayai Napa. Were lovin it lovin it lovin it, were lovin it like dis.
Nah then, you gonna let me in!?
I don't fuckin know !
LOVER!
This warm flat sanmiguel tastes like shit
We going for a Wortho's?
It's a really excellent bar!
Nobsack
Lowey - Im goin for a fuckin shower
Fuckin!
Lowey - I'm gonna have to stop fuckin swearin, I mean can you imagine Gwenneth coming to the bar and asking for some blossom hill shit. I'd probably say "fucking get it yourself you fucked up, sknaky hoe".
Lowey - I was allways gunna have it dun coz I'm a fuckin mad head!
Lowey - I'm pretending to be a cat so that dog will come and attack me.
Phil - How'd you call fuckin England then?
I was fucking wankered.
Phil - Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful.
Lowey - I never realised there was a university in Derby.
Sheffield Lass said to Lowey: "Whats's your name?" Lowey replied "Polaxer!"
You dirty bastard
Timo - Look at me! Look at me!
Phil - What's over them mountains?........More mountains.
Lowey - Judging fom your accent I'd say Northhampton.
What else have we said?
Lowey - I have no intention of going in the pool........SPLASH!
Lowey - You dunk me and I'll burn your fuckin houses down!
Lowey - Ah fucking hell
Should have brought that dictaphone
You giddy bastard
How much you taking out tonight?
Timo Looks gay in them trouseres.
Timo said to Gaz - "Are you really going out looking like that!?"
Gaz - You can't let any Blood get into your Alcohol stream!
Is there a pen around there Phil? What? Is there a pen around there Phil? What? Is there a pen around there Phil? Eh? Is there a pen around there Phil? You what? Is there a pen around there Phil? What?.....Cheers Gaz.
Lowey - Why is it I loose my wallet every 5 minutes !? Gaz - Coz your a nobsack.